He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
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He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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