At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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