hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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