How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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