I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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