ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize