I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize