you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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