She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
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Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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