Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize