I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Houston, we have a squirter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize