So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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