that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I am midnight drunk by noon
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Come on in and take your pants off
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