Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize