this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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