where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Soap is not a condiment
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
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I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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