My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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