i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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