I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
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the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
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It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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