i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize