hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
They have beer where we have blood.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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