I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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