I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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