wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
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When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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