It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I didn't notice because vodka
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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