So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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