I wish my penis had an off switch
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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