very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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