I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
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Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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