I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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