The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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