so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize