Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize