brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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