wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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