everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may now shotgun with the bride
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize