Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize