is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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