I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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