how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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