I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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