i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I came so hard my ears popped.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize