In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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