oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I wish i was in the wii world.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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