Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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