This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize