I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Please don't give away my fajitas
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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