I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize