He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
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we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
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Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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