dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
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I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
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Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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