Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize